hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
