ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Soap is not a condiment
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
