??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
