used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it hurts more in the daytime
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
