Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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