she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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