Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
