One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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