I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
