There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
