Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
