Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
