Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize