I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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