Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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