Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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