You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize