everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
