I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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