I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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