i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he was CRYING into my vagina
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize