I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize