1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You're so nebulous sometimes
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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