Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
