I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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