do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
