i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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