garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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