What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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