Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
