Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
