I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The air taste purple.
Randomize
