I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
