Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
