sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
