My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have feelings that need drinking.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize