so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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