He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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