Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
