i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
