last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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