when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
