Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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