I skipped work to stalk him.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
