Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
