what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
