your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
