There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
