I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
