Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
