Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize