Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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