Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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