This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize