you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
