Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
