hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
