How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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