I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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