My friends, they love my intelligence
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
