I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize