i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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