Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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