Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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