i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
