when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
