The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
