i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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