she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
