It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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