i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
