If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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