wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
