So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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